The Search for Joy

Well.. the title kind of says it all...

I have realized, pretty quickly that my joy is gone. Yeah, I have really happy moments and times that I love, but at this point in my life those are pretty spread out. I feel like so much is happening in my life all at one time and it's getting kind of hard to juggle it all. I have a ball of labled "work".. am I staying at this job for a while or am I going to be trying to find another job and if I find another job what am I going to be doing? What do I want to do? I have another ball labled "living"... am I moving to Houston? If so, where am I going to live? How am I going to afford it? I will need a really good job to be able to afford living there. There is another one I am juggling, "love"... I am trying to love well and not be selfish in my relationships with my family, boyfriend, and friends. I haven't been feeling super loved and I feel like I am not loving people very well.. that my love is based on how THEY love ME. If I pour out myself to them and I don't get back what I feel I should, I feel vulnerable and pull away. But I don't even just pull away, I think of ways to make them feel bad so that I won't feel so vulnerable.. I know, it's horrible! Maybe it's a cycle?! Like because I'm not feeling loved, I don't love well and because I don't love well, they have a hard time loving me well (wether purposefully or subconsciously) and so it just keeps going around and around... So, I am trying to work on my selfishness and desperate desire for the love of humans. I am juggling another one, probably the biggest one, labled "GOD". I haven't been spending the time with Him that I need to be, or seeking Him in the way I should and I know it's not about what I DO for Him but my HEART for Him. And I desperately want to be close to Him, but at the same time I don't want to be "good". One thing my brother told me the other day that really stuck was "Whitney, you don't have to be good or even WANT to be good for the Lord to love you". WOW! What a concept, the Lord loves me where I'm at. I don't think I have ever really been able to grasp that concept. I desperately wish I could.

I want to enjoy life. I want to run through fields carefree. I want to stop and enjoy a sunset. I want to dance in the rain. I want to love sparkles again. I want to smile and really feel it. I want to stop going through ups and downs emotionally. I want to breath in the air with my hands spread out, embracing life. I want to walk through life with a confidence and a boldness. I want to love the people around me... REALLY love them and love them WELL. I want to love Jesus. I want to have a burning passion for Him again. I want to be FREE! I want to be HAPPY!! I want to have JOY!

Sorry to be such a Debby-downer, but this is my life right now.

The Raw Journey

So.. I realize I haven't written on my blog for a while. I guess I let life catch up to me. lol. So.. QUICK UPDATE:

GOD: I am growing and learning more and more things about God. The journey is not over until... well it's over! I haven't been diving into His word as much as I should. I guess sometimes I get so caught up in looking for the good "self help" or the "Christian Inspiration" books and forget that the REAL manual for life is right in front of me. Don't get me wrong, I think Christian Inspiration books are great and they are a good accent, but I don't think they should be put before God's word! One book I am making my way through right now is "Souvenirs of Solitude" by Brennan Manning! He is an amazing author/ ex-monk. He has incredible views and is real with his readers- which I appreciate! So check it out if you want to be challenged in your prayer life and learning the importance of silence/ solitude with the Lord.

FAMILY: The fam is doing good. The only real big deal going on right now is with my dad's mom. She was admitted to the hospital Wednesday after having her 5th stroke in the past 7ish years. She has been unconscious, not really responding to anything. But today she opened her eyes. She is still not responsive, but she at least opened her eyes!!

FRIENDS: I recently had an old friend come back into my life which has been amazing and completely surprising!! I am so thankful God led our journeys back together!! And I am truly blessed by their friendship!

HEALTH/FUN: I am endeavoring to start eating raw foods. I feel like I have put so much junk in my body and really discovering that we are what we eat. I believe that a lot of the diseases, pains, illnesses are products of how we treat our bodies. I feel like I could do a much better job taking care of the temple God has given me. I am not going to go raw overnight because I feel like it's going to be a lifestyle change and not a diet so I want to do it slowly and not just make an emotional decision, because we all know those don't last very long! haha But I will be including recipes and thoughts about how it's going with me concerning my new raw lifestyle.

JOB: I am still working for the production company.. which I LOVE!! It is a great job.. I am so very thankful for it! I am quickly realizing I enjoy the entertainment business! It is a fun and FAST business.. no day is the same, which if you know me, I LOVE! One of my co-workers had her last week this week :( She was offered a full time job in Austin, a lot closer to her home and so she took it. We will miss her deeply, but I will certainly be seeing her on the weekends!! :D

Living: I am moving this weekend into my own apartment. So that's starts my journey of complete independence.. paying my own rent... living alone.. being a big girl!! haha I am really excited. I will post pics once I have everything decorated and in place! :)

Thanks for reading and following me along my journey!! Love you guys!!

Grace and Peace,
Whit

Excerpt from "Souvenirs of Solitude":

Father because I am loved and I love I dont have to explain myself to you.
I dont have to excuse myself to you.
I dont have to abase myself before you.
You know all about me, and you call me friend.
You call me your delight.
You call me your beloved.

Because I am loved and I love I need not lie prostrate on my face before you.
I am free to run into the circle of your waiting arms, to enter the fullness of your embrace, to be held
safely
strongly
securely
against your heart.

Because I am loved and I love I dont have to worry about my response or lack of it.
I don't have to struggle with my desire to understand.
I dont have to wrestle with my feeling of unworthiness.
All I have to do is be still, stay close, and let you love me into wholeness.

Father, sometimes it's the hardest thing in the world just to be still,
stay close and let you love me.
But because I am loved and I love, I try.

Here I am Father,
Still, for once.
Closer than I've ever been.
Waiting. Accepting. Wanting.
Love me, Father.

Success!!!

Here are some pics of the Oatmeal Blueberry Muffins I made last night for work this morning and the Rosemary and Walnut oven-fried chicken. I feel like they both turned out pretty good.

The muffins were probably a 8.5 on the delicious scale and a 4 on the difficulty.
The chicken was a 9 on delicious and a 3 on the difficulty... it was SUPER easy!!


Blending the walnuts up to put in the Panko mixture...


Here is the chicken as I'm taking it from the mustard mixture and putting it in the Panko mixture..


Just out of the oven..


The finished product!!



These are the delicious muffins!!

Here is the recipe:

Blueberry Oatmeal Muffins

Yield: 16 servings (serving size: 1 muffin)


1 2/3 cups quick-cooking oats
2/3 cup all-purpose flour (about 3 ounces)
1/2 cup whole wheat flour (about 2 1/3 ounces)
3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups fat-free buttermilk
1/4 cup canola oil
2 teaspoons grated lemon rind
2 large eggs
2 cups frozen blueberries
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
Cooking spray
2 tablespoons granulated sugar

Preheat oven to 400°.

Place oats in a food processor; pulse 5 to 6 times until oats resemble coarse meal. Place in a large bowl.

Lightly spoon flours into dry measuring cups; level with a knife. Add flours and next 5 ingredients (through salt) to oats in bowl; stir well with a whisk. Make a well in center of mixture.

Combine buttermilk, oil, rind, and eggs in small bowl; stir well with a whisk. Add to flour mixture, stirring just until moist.

Toss berries with 2 tablespoons flour, and gently fold them into the batter.

Spoon batter into 16 muffin cups coated with cooking spray; sprinkle batter with 2 tablespoons granulated sugar. Bake at 400° for 20 minutes or until muffins spring back when touched lightly in center. Remove from pans immediately. Place on a wire rack. Serve warm or at room temperature.



CALORIES 170 (26% from fat); FAT 5g (sat 0.6g,mono 2.5g,poly 1.4g); IRON 1.2mg; CHOLESTEROL 27mg; CALCIUM 65mg; CARBOHYDRATE 28.6g; SODIUM 256mg; PROTEIN 4g; FIBER 2g

WALNUT & ROSEMARY OVEN-FRIED CHICKEN

Recipe for Tuesday July 6:

Walnut and Rosemary Oven-Fried Chicken


Get the crispy taste of fried chicken for less than 300 calories. Add kid appeal to this dish with a honey-mustard dipping sauce.

Other Time: 30 minutes minutes
Yield: 4 servings (serving size: 1 cutlet)


1/4 cup low-fat buttermilk
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
4 (6-ounce) chicken cutlets
1/3 cup panko (Japanese breadcrumbs)
1/3 cup finely chopped walnuts
2 tablespoons grated fresh Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese
3/4 teaspoon minced fresh rosemary
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Cooking spray
Rosemary leaves (optional)

1. Preheat oven to 425°.

2. Combine buttermilk and mustard in a shallow dish, stirring with a whisk. Add chicken to buttermilk mixture, turning to coat.

3. Heat a small skillet over medium-high heat. Add panko to pan; cook 3 minutes or until golden, stirring frequently. Combine panko, nuts, and next 4 ingredients (through pepper) in a shallow dish. Remove chicken from buttermilk mixture; discard buttermilk mixture. Dredge chicken in panko mixture.

4. Arrange a wire rack on a large baking sheet; coat rack with cooking spray. Arrange chicken on rack; coat chicken with cooking spray. Bake at 425° for 13 minutes or until chicken is done. Garnish with rosemary leaves, if desired.



CALORIES 287 ; FAT 9.4g (sat 1.6g,mono 1.6g,poly 5.1g); CHOLESTEROL 101mg; CALCIUM 66mg; CARBOHYDRATE 6g; SODIUM 379mg; PROTEIN 42.7g; FIBER 0.9g; IRON 1.6mg

SUCESSSS!!

Well.. I would certainly have to give the Paella a 12 out of 10. It was SO good!! The easiness I would give a 6, 1 being the easiest thing ever! like toast and 10 being Ratatouille.

I definitely should have prepared all the vegetables and meat BEFORE I started cooking!! The recipe calls for me to keep stirring the ENTIRE time I cook and add ingredients, so I quickly discovered I was way in over my head when I started adding new things and had yet to cut it up... So what did I do?! I called SUPERMOM to the rescue!! :) My mom is so wonderful! She quickly came to my rescue... much like Batman comes to the rescue of those who send out the Batman signal.. I sent out the stressed out signal to my mom! Let's just say, she knows that look! haha

But nonetheless, with the generous and superhero powers of my mother, I was able to get the Paella safely in the oven! I had to cook it about 10 minutes longer than it called for.. because for some reason it was soupier than it should have been. We ended up draining some of the juice. I also used regular turkey sausage and added some Italian seasonings instead of the Italian Turkey Sausage because they didn't have mild at the store and I can't eat spicy. P.S. If you did this recipe then you have bought Safron and have quickly discovered it takes an arm and a leg to buy! But among all those things, it turned out DELICIOUS! This WILL be a remake!

I hope you had fun cooking tonight! See you tomorrow! :)

Grace and Peace,
Whit

P.S. I am going to go through the magazine and update what we will be cooking tomorrow night!! So check back in a few minutes for the next recipe!

Chicken and Shrimp Paella

Sorry it's late... but here it is!!!


Chicken and Shrimp Paella


This paella, made with chicken and shrimp, calls for a medium-grain rice like Arborio or Valencia, varieties that can absorb the flavors in the broth without overcooking. Saffron, the exotic spice with a distinct, earthy flavor, gives this Spanish dish its characteristic yellow hue. It's a bit soupy when first prepared but quickly absorbs the liquid.

Yield: 6 servings (serving size: 1 chicken thigh and about 1 cup rice mixture)


6 chicken thighs (about 1 1/2 pounds), skinned
1 teaspoon chopped fresh or 1/4 teaspoon dried rosemary
3/4 teaspoon salt, divided
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 teaspoons vegetable oil
1 (4-ounce) link hot turkey Italian sausage
1 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup chopped red bell pepper
1 1/2 cups uncooked Arborio or Valencia rice
1/2 cup diced plum tomato
1 teaspoon Hungarian sweet paprika
1/4 teaspoon saffron threads, crushed
1 garlic clove, minced
3 cups fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth
3/4 pound large shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 cup (1-inch) diagonally cut asparagus
1/2 cup frozen green peas, thawed

Preheat oven to 400°.

Sprinkle chicken with rosemary, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and black pepper. Heat the oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add chicken; cook 3 minutes on each side or until lightly browned. Remove chicken from pan; cover and keep warm.

Remove casings from sausage. Add sausage to pan; cook 1 minute, stirring to crumble. Add onion and bell pepper; cook 7 minutes, stirring constantly. Add rice, tomato, paprika, saffron, and garlic; cook 1 minute, stirring constantly. Return chicken to pan. Add broth and 1/4 teaspoon salt; bring to a boil. Wrap handle of pan with foil; cover pan. Bake at 400° for 10 minutes. Stir in shrimp, asparagus, and peas. Cover and bake an additional 5 minutes or until shrimp are done.



CALORIES 433 (15% from fat); FAT 7g (sat 1.6g,mono 2g,poly 2.5g); IRON 3.2mg; CHOLESTEROL 156mg; CALCIUM 73mg; CARBOHYDRATE 52.8g; SODIUM 787mg; PROTEIN 34.8g; FIBER 3g

Cooking Challenge!!

This week I am going to make dinner every night (monday-friday) with a Cooking Light recipe I got out of the "Cooking Light Recipe Makeovers" magazine I got on Friday! This magazine is still on the shelf so if you're interested in buying it, it's $10.99 at Walmart.

I would love it if you followed along and joined me in my cooking experience. I told my mom to get out of the kitchen this week, I'm taking over!!!!! :) I am going to post on my blog www.whitneyleininger.blogspot.com the recipes. I will post ingredients you will need a couple days before, but not tell you the dish along with the recipe until the night before. :) I want this to be interactive and most of all FUN!.. so if you are cooking along, please post comments about the dish or whatever here or on my blog..

All the recipes are randomly chosen and I have NEVER cooked any of them.. so I am not at any kind of advantage.. I also may not be a fan of everything I am trying to cook.. I am a pretty picky eater, so part of this is for me to branch out and try things that may be a little intimidating.. So, if fear is holding you back, lets jump in together!!

I am so excited!! I hope you join me!! It will be a blast!!! And if you know anyone else who would like to join in on the fun, please invite them to!

be challenged you crazy Cookers out there! :)


Below is the list of ingredients we are going to need for Monday.. dont even try to figure out what the recipe is... just buy the ingredients:

6 chicken thighs (skinned)
rosemary
salt
black pepper
canola oil
1 link hot turkey italian sausage... obviously the "hot" is optional.. mine will not be hot
1 cup of chopped onion
1 red bell pepper
1.5 cup Arborio or Valencia rice
1 plum tomato
sweet Paprika
1/4 tsp. saffron threads (crushed)
1 garlic clove
3 cups fat free chicken broth
3/4lb large shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 cup asparagus
1/2 cup frozen green beans

Confessions...

EAT: Well today, I realized a few things about myself.. I am a sympathetic eater. If someone is stressed or sad, I will eat for them! No need for them to eat unnecessary calories and feel bad, I will sacrifice and eat a donut for them! I was not very "healthy" in my choices today... donuts get me every time!! They were delicious.. but they are so unfriendly! When have you ever eaten one donut and been satisfied. It seems like when you eat one sweet, it opens the floodgates. Maybe I'm alone in this... but sweets may seem like they are your friend.. but they just stab you in the back... or thighs!! This picture I found makes donuts look like they are food group or something healthy... very misleading!

PRAY: Last night I was reading in my devotional book by Beth Moore I just started called, "Jesus: 90 days with the One and Only". I was really challenged by the story of Jesus' birth.. Luke 2:1-7. One of the questions was, "What do you love most about celebrating the birth of Christ?"- I think being honest, I have never truly celebrated or had a party for Jesus, like I would anyone else. I have prayed on Christmas and told Jesus thank you, but that's about it. I have gotten so wrapped up in Christmas that I have forgotten Christ in Christmas! I want to change this though, I want Christ to feel celebrated on His birthday!

LOVE: 1 John 4:7 "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

Grace and Peace,
Whit

In the Beginning...

I was reading a magazine I got in the mail yesterday from a gym I am member at. I came across an article about a woman who needed inspiration to a pursue a healthier life, so she started a blog. I thought that was a genious idea... so this is the beginning of my feat. I have tried this before and haven't been very faithful in executing my endeavor. So, again I am attempting to do this.

You may be wondering why I picked the title I did... I was at the movies and saw a preview for a new movie coming out with Julia Roberts called, Eat, Pray, Love and it made me start thinking about my priorities. I thought it was a great idea to get across the way I am trying to live my life, holistically. I cannot focus on getting skinny, or just letting my self go and spending time with God, I have to focus on being HEALTHY, loving my Lord and the people He has placed in my life. This blog will be a journey of awesome times with God, desert times in life, and trying out different healthy recipes... I hope by reading this, you will have inspiration to grow in your walk with Christ and birth or encourage a desire to be healthy in mind and body. 1 Corinthians 6:19 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own." What a gift... we are to take care of our bodies so that we can be ready to do His will. We are His! :)

So, please read and be encouraged!!

Grace and Peace,
Whit

Here is a link to the trailer of Eat, Pray, Love http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crNaJjfY57g